How do you cure swine flu?
 |
| Oink Oink who's there? |
Oinkment!!!
If that doesn't work you get taken to hogs-pigs-tal in a Ham-bulance for a brief sty in hospital.
Unusual symptoms include a rash, the trots and the urge to pig your nose!
And .... hopefully you'll be cured.
But in case you're not, make sure you've made your swill.
What does the grim reaper say to people who catch swine flu?
"You're for the chop."
You cheeky sow-and-sow.
How do you diagnose a Mexican pig? From it's "Atchoo!!!"...
I just gave you a pearl necklace... you know... to ward off the swine flu.
Going Bananas
Oink, Oink, Who's there? Swine flu?
Oink, Oink, Who's there? Swine flu?
Oink, Oink, Who's there? Orange?
Orange you glad it's not swine flu!
What ham-strung in your efforts to find an better joke?
What do you call it if you catch flu and headlice both at the same time?
Pork scratchings!
This pig flu is bad, I've had it for about a Weeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!
Pig flu: God's backup plan in case a cure for cancer was developed in time to save Jade Goody.
A man poked his head over the fence as his wife lay asleep in the sun and leered at the beautiful girl next door.
"pssss!, pssss!" he hissed loudly "How about coming over right now?
"You're got to be joking" said the girl.
But you said, you said you'd go to bed with me ... when pigs flu!
A Pigflu Correct Nursery Rhyme
One little piggy went to Mexico,
One little piggy stayed at home,
One little piggy had a fever, cough and sore throat,
And one little piggy had none,
And one little piggy went sneeze, sneeze, sneeze till he was gone.
Brown Broadcasting Company Alerts:
The BBC have today advised all online
office workers to be particularly careful because it is now thought
that pig flu can be spread as a virus on the internet!
How? By SPAM!
The BBC have announced that Parliament is to put in place special measures because of its higher susceptibility to swine flu. Why? Have you ever met a politician that doesn't tell porkies or doesn't have their snouts in the trough!
A BBC spokesperson responding to rumours that swine flu was an airborne pathogen, said: “Yeah right, when pigs fly.”
When asked to comment on the complaints of heavy handed action by the government closing all public venues the BBC source said: “what a load of whinging trollop: you'd think we'd all got whine flu or summit?”
Commenting on the BBC handling of swine flu the opposition said: “they're making a pig's ear of it if you ask me.”
Swine flu! : What phonetically correct people exclaim after they see pigs fly.
And finally
Porky Pig has released a statement about the end of the swine flu: "th-tha-tha-tha-that- that's all folks"
Serious stuff
For advice, links, etc. see: Preparing for Pig flu
